Guest: Danielle Cookie
- Mitch brings up Mein Kampf Danielle corrects Mitch Schindler's list is not a book.
Funny Stories and Quotes
- We got a lot going on this episode. Fuck you all.
- I don't like Strip Clubs. The idea people are forced to like me. I don't like me why would other people like me.
- Can we hear your boobs?
- Matt - That was my question
- Kate - That's why he was quiet.
- Danielle - static noises
- Alex - Sounds like the ocean.
- Kate - Sounds like Jane Jensen will hate us for the rest of her life.
- Never smoked weed
- Kate - You look high in space
- I was in space.
- Don't justify it you sack of shit.
- Kate - I am a sack of shit.
- RA flash drive in undies we need to make this happen.
- You don't go to a Hibachi restaurant alone.
- I'm Kate and I hate you all.
- My ex was a prostitute and she got asked how much to dance.
- Danielle Is it the opposite?
- One night she did get abducted by a crackhead and came back at 3AM making a daring escape.
- When not turning tricks she smoked weed all day.
- Since I'm taking her prostitution money for rent does that make me a pimp?
- Mitch - Change Oneeyedgoon to Big Pimpin?
- I'm losing weight.
- This is what happens. Furries ruin everything.
- I've seen a lot of porn. Ariel's bottom half is fish so she has a cloaca.
- I had fantasies of being a stripper.
- Danielle - That's a very common thing people say to me. Men tell me all the time and its weird. If I were a girl I'd be a stripper as if being a guy isn't okay.
- No one asked to poop on you?
- Alex - Can you wear a shit bikini?
- Matt - Two guys back to back 1 guy poops the next one likes it off. You wanted me to talk.
- Kate - Poop back and forth
- Matt and Alex - FOREVER
- Go fuck yourself.
- Alex - Fucking sausage and some shit. Let me call my buddy Joey Spaghetti. You never met him?
- Matt - Mikey Meatballs. Mitchy Mozzerella. Louie Lasagna.
- Alex - Where did alliteration become the rule?
- Kate - From Italy.
- Eat the spaghetti to forgetti the regretti.
- Guys that watch porn together I don't get it.
- (Guest backed out too much semen) What he didn't tell you is I jerked off on him.
- Alex - What he didn't tell you was he was jerking to all the episodes.
- If I was GamerGate I would shut the podcast down.
- We're not vegetarian assholes.
- Kate - Cows are assholes.
- Alex - So are humans.
- Buffalo Wild Wings you know if you advertised free wi-fi more nerds would come.
- Guys can't be full nude strippers. Dicks are fucking gross.
- Matt - I want to be a male stripper at a gay night club.
- Kate - Would you be gay for pay?
- Matt - No.
- Danielle - They make a lot of money.
- It's called a joke.
- Kate - It's not funny.
- We passed around a skunk and gave it a rimjob.
- I was being polite you cunt.
- I ate chicken pussy and ass.
- Kate - It;s the same place (cloaca)
- I'm Danielle and I'm a stripper. My name is Cookie.
- Alex - Welcome to the show, you'll fit the fuck right in. Admist convention coverage, music composers, and game devs hope you feel right at home.
- I love my job. I can threaten people and no one gives a fuck.
My shift is 6PM to 1AM. First 2 hours a dead.
- Creepy guy went right to pussy.
- Kate - A handful?
- Literally a handful. It was disrespectful. You can see the change in their eyes.
- Kate - Like a werewolf?
- Mitch - I feel like those people post on craigslist with straight jerk off buddy no homo and I have Jerk off crystals.
- Alex - Jo Jo Crystal. Cum into one spot over again until it crystallizes.
- I read a book before starting my shift. I was viewed as a nerd. I'm sorry.
- I want to see it so I can see her tits.
- Alex - You know people by their tits?
- Alex - I don't know a boob explain it to me.
- I felt so many fake boobs. Not good.
The conflict of the hustle game. Where are the morals?
- Matt- You don;t need to be a stripper.
- Alex - Doctors do that shit all the time.
- Halloween I'm going to be a librarian so I have a reason to carry all my books.
- (Why not male stripper) I don't have a penis.
- Matt - Get her off the show.
- Kate - I get to stay on due to a technicality.
- I wouldn't eat a dog.
- Matt - That's stupid.
- If you want to ask more anonymous creepy questions that's fine. I'm gonna die one day.