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RA 139

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Length: 2:25:15

Hosts: Alex Kate Matt Mitch

Guest: Danielle Cookie

Intro:

Closing Song:


Content Covered

Notable Facts

  • Mitch brings up Mein Kampf Danielle corrects Mitch Schindler's list is not a book.

Funny Stories and Quotes

Alex

  • We got a lot going on this episode. Fuck you all.
  • I don't like Strip Clubs. The idea people are forced to like me. I don't like me why would other people like me.
  • Can we hear your boobs?
    • Matt - That was my question
    • Kate - That's why he was quiet.
    • Danielle - static noises
    • Alex - Sounds like the ocean.
    • Kate - Sounds like Jane Jensen will hate us for the rest of her life.
  • Never smoked weed
    • Kate - You look high in space
  • I was in space.
  • Don't justify it you sack of shit.
    • Kate - I am a sack of shit.
  • RA flash drive in undies we need to make this happen.
  • You don't go to a Hibachi restaurant alone.

Kate

  • I'm Kate and I hate you all.
  • My ex was a prostitute and she got asked how much to dance.
    • Danielle Is it the opposite?
  • One night she did get abducted by a crackhead and came back at 3AM making a daring escape.
  • When not turning tricks she smoked weed all day.
  • Since I'm taking her prostitution money for rent does that make me a pimp?
    • Mitch - Change Oneeyedgoon to Big Pimpin?
  • I'm losing weight.
  • This is what happens. Furries ruin everything.
  • I've seen a lot of porn. Ariel's bottom half is fish so she has a cloaca.

Matt

  • I had fantasies of being a stripper.
    • Danielle - That's a very common thing people say to me. Men tell me all the time and its weird. If I were a girl I'd be a stripper as if being a guy isn't okay.
  • No one asked to poop on you?
    • Alex - Can you wear a shit bikini?
    • Matt - Two guys back to back 1 guy poops the next one likes it off. You wanted me to talk.
    • Kate - Poop back and forth
    • Matt and Alex - FOREVER
  • Go fuck yourself.
    • Alex - Fucking sausage and some shit. Let me call my buddy Joey Spaghetti. You never met him?
    • Matt - Mikey Meatballs. Mitchy Mozzerella. Louie Lasagna.
    • Alex - Where did alliteration become the rule?
    • Kate - From Italy.
  • Eat the spaghetti to forgetti the regretti.
  • Guys that watch porn together I don't get it.
  • (Guest backed out too much semen) What he didn't tell you is I jerked off on him.
    • Alex - What he didn't tell you was he was jerking to all the episodes.
  • If I was GamerGate I would shut the podcast down.
  • We're not vegetarian assholes.
    • Kate - Cows are assholes.
    • Alex - So are humans.
  • Buffalo Wild Wings you know if you advertised free wi-fi more nerds would come.

Mitch

  • Guys can't be full nude strippers. Dicks are fucking gross.
    • Matt - I want to be a male stripper at a gay night club.
    • Kate - Would you be gay for pay?
    • Matt - No.
    • Danielle - They make a lot of money.
  • It's called a joke.
    • Kate - It's not funny.
  • We passed around a skunk and gave it a rimjob.
  • I was being polite you cunt.
  • I ate chicken pussy and ass.
    • Kate - It;s the same place (cloaca)

Danielle

  • I'm Danielle and I'm a stripper. My name is Cookie.
    • Alex -  Welcome to the show, you'll fit the fuck right in. Admist convention coverage, music composers, and game devs hope you feel right at home.
  • I love my job. I can threaten people and no one gives a fuck.

My shift is 6PM to 1AM. First 2 hours a dead.

  • Creepy guy went right to pussy.
    • Kate - A handful?
  • Literally a handful. It was disrespectful. You can see the change in their eyes.
    • Kate - Like a werewolf?
    • Mitch - I feel like those people post on craigslist with straight jerk off buddy no homo and I have Jerk off crystals.
    • Alex - Jo Jo Crystal. Cum into one spot over again until it crystallizes.
  • I read a book before starting my shift. I was viewed as a nerd. I'm sorry.
  • I want to see it so I can see her tits.
    • Alex - You know people by their tits?
  • Yes
    • Alex - I don't know a boob explain it to me.
  • I felt so many fake boobs. Not good.

The conflict of the hustle game. Where are the morals?

    • Matt- You don;t need to be a stripper.
    • Alex - Doctors do that shit all the time.
  • Halloween I'm going to be a librarian so I have a reason to carry all my books.
  • (Why not male stripper) I don't have a penis.
    • Matt - Get her off the show.
    • Kate - I get to stay on due to a technicality.
  • I wouldn't eat a dog.
    • Matt - That's stupid.
  • If you want to ask more anonymous creepy questions that's fine. I'm gonna die one day.


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