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RA 148

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Length: 2:32:22

Hosts: Alex Matt Mitch

Guests: TURbo, Chris Ott, Kori

Intro: Sebastian songs of the RA Crew


Content Covered

  • COD Advanced Warfare
  • Reading childrens books in super small print
  • Smash Bros
  • Some anime Parasite
  • Beat Saboteur

Notable Facts

  • First appearance of TURbo and Chris Ott
  • Matt talks about the banana hammock panic again
  • RA skyscraper has a pants metal dectector.
  • TURbo teases MAGfest gift to Mitch

Funny Stories and Quotes

Alex

  • Kori are you on the sidelines?
    • Kori -Yes.
    • Alex (whispers) bitch.
  • TURbo its been years trying to get you on the show.
    • Matt - I thought he refused.
    • TURbo - You said I could only come on the podcast if I used some tongue when I kissed your asshole.
    • Matt - That's true.
    • TURbo - This was way back in 2011.
    • Matt - We're great.
    • Mitch - TURbo is our scribe.
    • Alex - Motherfucker has a bandolier of quills.
    • Alex - This is the future you chose. Can't eat cereal. You are the founder and sole editor of the RA Wiki. Will you change it to Giant Fucking Sellout Wiki?
    • TURbo - When I get the money.
  • You're retarded and your getting paid to be retarded.
    • Matt - That's the dream.
    • Mitch - Then we will be Game Grumps.
  • The Wiki cheers us up and prevents us from committing suicide.
    • Mitch - You'll jang yourself outside a children's hospital.
  • Kori get down on all 4's. (Mother Brain voice)
    • Kori - Oh you guys.
    • Matt - Is her other brain black?
    • Alex - Mother Blain.
  • What's the process of Wiki content?
    • TURbo - When there is enough mentions it can be its own page.
    • Matt - My cock and balls.
  • Hi Kori. You're a real pretty girl. You should do movies.
    • Kori - Stop. Stop!
  • Looking at RA 99 where Mitch says "What is this show but a miserable pile of quotes."
  • He's horrifying!
    • Matt - So Asian!
  • Lee is too cool, and Bron is so dapper.
  • Why does Kori date you?
    • Mitch - I don't know she fell into my lap.
  • Confirmed. Crazy Head is Jew. Prince is a Jew.
    • Matt - Really?
    • Alex - No. 
    • Matt - Black people mistake me for Jewish all the time. As in two
  • I'm not circumsized but I bet TURbo already knew that.
    • TURbo - You mentioned it on episode 1.
    • Matt - I want the foreskin of Alex to attack to my penis, tie it, then make a net to trip people.
  • Mom's spaghetti is Matt's dick.
  • Thank you Hitler.
    • Chris - Words to live by.
  • We're the target demographic. We won't die. Bring on the motorcycles.
  • I will get the flu and kill kids with my face.
  • Welcome to the show TURbo and Chris Ott want to make your claims on vaccinations on the Random Assault podcast?
    • TURbo - I  i i i i edit aaa wiki.
    • Kori - He didn't get vaccinated.
    • Alex - Flutits. I'm going to look up tits with the flu.
  • I'm just saying. Alex didn't get to blow a dog.
    • TURbo - You can have a new story with all the animals you want.
    • Alex -Yay!
  • When you have time on your hands take a hammer, beat your genitals and then you go on the internet and that's a videogame.
  • You can't live anywhere in the world without someone checking your bags.

Matt

  • (Mitch) Fuck ass. Stop we might get popular.
    • Alex - Game Grumps!
  • Banana Hammock Panic is a game.
    • Alex - I don't believe you but I wish it was true.
    • Matt- You wish it was true.
  • Don't take my word for it. Go fuck yourself.
  • Little Tubby TURbo.
    • Alex - I'm seeing it with my eyes. It burns!
    • Mitch - TURbo praise us more. You're the only one.
  • I hit random page, and I got Kori.
    • Mitch - She has a page?
    • Kori - You fucking white people disgust me.
    • Matt - If I was on tumblr I would agree with you. Put it on the gravestone.
    • Make fun of me Alex when you don't torrent.
    • Alex - I go to the drive thru and download torrents with my eyeballs. (goes Irish accents)
    • Matt -What the fuck?
    • Alex - You should go to Netflix Drive Thru Theater and watch Wreck it Ralph with Christna.
  • I play Wii U on toilet like crack on lineoleum. 
  • When you eat Matt's dick do you use fork and spoon?
  • She filled Arthur's ass to the top. It's blurry and I can't read it.
  • Oh yeah he had flash cards to eat because he was retarded.
  • I blame Jim Carrey for autism deaths. (Kori rebuttals)
  • Celebrities have a responsibility.
  • They started... oh my god.... Fuck me harder in the ass.
  • Blow a dog for 1 minute or a homeless man for 10?
    • Alex - What the fuck is going on?
    • Mitch - Like Heavy Rain only good.
  • I promise we are worse in person.

Mitch

  • Thank God. Finally killed himself.
  • Kori died. I killed her. (She wouldn't turn off her phone so he turned off her life)
  • No mail for Mitchell. I didn't know it would be prophetic with my life.
  • (Biggest lie ever told) I don't watch a lot of anime
  • Hitler likes to paint does that mean I killed 6 million Jews.
    • Alex, TURbo, Matt, Chris - Yeah.
    • TURbo - He had bigger art projects.
  • I will slime your teacher with Matt's cum.
    • Matt - I've been saving it for years. It's fermented under my bed.

TURbo

  • We were playing COD Advanced Warfare on XB1.
    • Matt -Why?
    • Chris - Second mission is a tutorial mission.
    • Mitch - Is that the mission where you pee on the guys grave?
    • TURbo - After you pee on the grave you play the tutorial mission twice.
  • You pee on Kevin Spacey's dead son.
    • Matt - I know John Travolta has a real dead son. Ric Flair has a real dead son.
    • Chris - Stallone has a real dead son.
    • Matt - True
  • The Top 10 games of all time or 30 for Kate.
  • Matt you're wrong. Dredd is 2012. Total Recall was 2011. You are not qualified to talk about time.
    • Matt - I'm old.
    • Kori - I'm old.
  • I'm going to MAGfest and I'll bring gifts. Especially for you Mitch.
    • Mitch - Oh Christ. A late birthday present.
    • Alex - Please let it be his unbirth. Being suffortive.

Chris

  • Sounds like an anime cliche.
    • Matt - Mitch is anime.
  • Sonic Colors. The game plays itself. I keep hitting the A button to win.
    • Mitch - It's a great game.
    • Kori - Whhhhyyyyy?!?!?!? How do you feel about latex Mitchell.
    • Mitch - Very very good. God that butt is staring at me.
    • Alex - The first character Mitch picked in Smash was Sonic.
    • Chris - I use the auto lock on and I get killed.
    • TURbo - Did you work on the cutscenes in Sonic Colors?
    • Mitch - Yes. You know my secret.
    • Matt - I'm Mitch I'm a huge Sonic faggot.
    • TURbo - Sounds like Sonic Team only made half of the game anyway.
    • Chris - I'm trolling you. Sonic Colors is good.
    • TURbo - I thought you weren't a faggot.
    • Alex - Surprise!

Kori

  • I don't trust anything the government gives for free.
  • If you have a felony you shouldn't have kids.
    • Alex - Wrongfully accused balls off!
  • You know my secret.
    • Mitch - You always wear thongs.
    • Kori - No! I'm the ant.
    • Alex - It looks like Mitch drew her.
  • (slaps Mitch stomach)
    • Mitch Oww!


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