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RA Episode 163

Length: 2:47:52

Hosts: Kate Matt Faggot Alex briefly

Guest: TURbo Chris Ott David Willy and Rich Danger Dick Hotsauce Colina at PAX East


Closing Song: Jan Hammer - Crockett Theme Vice City

Content Covered: Zelda Most favorite Zelda? Least favorite Zelda? Most disappointing Zelda? Favorite Zelda character? Actual sausage segment Madden Gifs

David is on so horror movies and TV shows

Notable Facts: 26:30 Random Assault speaks to the people at PAX East at the Westin Lobby

  • Alex - What a bunch of assholes I'm at PAX.
  • Willy - Hello Matt. I hate you, I love you.
  • Alex - Dave is on the show without me. What an assholeface.
  • Willy - Dave I hate you. I'm so Matt right now.
  • TURbo - I drank 16 bonus sodas fuck Dave.
  • Alex - Hi Kate I love you.
  • Kate - Really?
  • Alex - I want to fondle your breasts and meet you. I'm glad I could fuck up the show.

Funny Stories and Quotes Kate

  • Matt listening to you talk you never left the 90's.
  • Milo all he is there for is to swing his big fat spread legs in front of your face so you can smell his balls until you find a sword and shield.
    • Matt - I like this version of the story.
  • The thing about comic books is that I don't like to buy them. David did it because he was retarded.
  • My sword was limp and I had to jerk it off.
  • You're a flip flopper like one of those liberals.
    • Dave - No I'm not
  • Too many people confuse weird and wrong. I don't know where people lost their balls but they need to find them.
  • CM Punk is a faggot because he is a wrestler.
  • That's gay.
  • Metal Gear Revengence makes me mad.
    • Dave and Mitch - It's awesome!
  • MGS 2 Kojima was right about the internet.
  • World War 2 is the last war people feel good about.


  • In my head. Rhymen Hymen Flippy Floppy Bitches.
  • I deal with enough fucking Indians in one day. I don't need another one.
  • You fell for my trap and got a dick stuck in your butt.
  • Who's the comedian that speaks like the character who looks like Homestuck?
  • Fuck reading. Reading is for gaybos.
  • Alex opened the airlock. (The origin of Random Assault in space)
  • It's not being a Jew, it's saving for the future.
    • Mitch - You're turning into Dadslapper.
    • Matt - Let's jump off and crack open our beards.
  • Stop talking about Zelda.
    • Dave - Fuck you.
    • Matt - Richard is the Majoras Mask King.
    • Dave - No he's not fuck him and fuck you.
  • Spirit Tracks was the I can't buy Zelda games anymore.
  • I love that shit. I want her to spin on my dick. Furries ain't got shit on me.
    • Mitch - Add that to the gravestone Furries ain't got shit on me.
    • Matt - Jay yiffs me to death.
  • The biggest thing I wop out is Italian Saussage.
  • Kori is the most racist.
    • Kate - Her skin is dark.
  • George Takei is a dickhead for trying to get reparations from the Japanese Internment camps.
  • I will never forgive the Japanese fuck George Takei.
  • When canon is followed does it trigger you and make you feel oppressed?
    • Kate - Yes.
    • Mitch - Kate is Canon-Kin.
    • Dave - I hate you Mitch.
    • Matt - My prostate is being oppressed.
    • Mitch - I'm a special snowflake.
    • Dave - Shut up Mitch.
  • Are you telling me Hitler's 2nd in command was a shape shifting Jew?
  • I was going to bring up my manifesto on how we would be justified dropping the 3rd atomic bomb on Japan.


  • I work with really old people any my insults are fuck you you piece of shit go get heart cancer.
    • Matt - Oh no. That's so rude.
    • Mitch - It's easy to make Matt sad. Isis dangling from a telephone pole.
    • Matt - Nooooo.
  • Motion contrls were well implemented in Skyward Sword.
    • Kate - Does anyone want to fuck my ass with an enormous cock with cactus spines in it? Motion controls are not good.
  • Who's buying 3 Kingdoms?
    • Matt - Jim Sterling buys all of them.
  • How was Dragonball Z bullshit? Find out on the next segment of Random Assault.
  • Want to talk about convoluted let's talk about the Mario timeline.


  • First anime he mentioned was Homestuck. (Oh no.)
  • Kate I think you need to meet more people.
  • Do you know what you should read?
    • Matt - The Bible.
  • Mitch Shut the fuck up.
  • Dynasty Warriors is equal to Earth Defense Force.
  • Why are you talking to Jayson?
    • Matt - I like him.
    • Kate - You hang out with a tranny, but a furry is too much?
    • David - It's not right fucking anthropomorphized. Furries are fucking weird. It's not right. You can jerk off to anything.
    • Matt - I know. I freaked out at the fursuit and sunglasses. Furries, Mitch you are related to one.
    • David - The gas leak at a fur convention. If you laughed you are a good person. Don't tell me I'm wrong for thinking fucked up shit is weird.
    • Matt - I feel the same way about homosexuals.
  • If you victimize yourself. Go fuck yourself.
    • Matt - No, furries should burn in hell. Forever. JAYSON.
  • Speak ill of Robin Williams?
    • Matt - Fuck Robin Williams.
  • It's Kingdom Hearts the story doesn't make any sense.
    • Matt - I hate the word Interquel so fucking much.

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