Guest: Mela Firefly
Other Shit and some Facts:
- Alex mentions the cooking with sperm again
- 1st gf Matt had quiefed on him. and then she blamed Matt
- Matt mentions Atari penis joystick again
- Fuck em 3x Dax Shepard
- Mela saw vaccuum sealed porn. Scared her.
- Kate revealed she hada vibrator in a previous episode she was in. Would give a prize to person that would answer but no one cared to go back and listen to previous episodes.
Funny Stories and Quotes:
- After I done it I took my condom out with my semen, blew it up like a balloon and popped it. It was everywhere. The Hindenload. The Hindensperm
- 10 minutes in and this is the best podcast ever.
- We sort of have a girl.
- Kate - Hey.
- Kate you should be fucking 11 year olds.
- 1:43:20 "SCRATCH MY BACK ALEX"
- Viewed life as a Truman show.
- Mela - I don't get paid enough to be your girlfriend.
- Dan Amrich he looks like a fucking fish.
- (Batman5273) Dresses up like Fred Durst
- I'm going to kill you.
- Mela - It's an act he's not that mean in real life.
- I don't beat women. I'll kill you.
- 18, 17 Get the fuck out.
- I showed her (Mela) Sex on horse back, terrodyctl porn.
- If you listen closely you can hear Mela talking about Viking Penis.
- Coming in 2nd segment Matt's penis.
- Mela - Yay!
- For girls like Mela here. I'm in front of the internet not people.
- Mela - The internet is a many people.
- So when are you getting married?
- Matt - How pregnant are you Alex?
- There's a bar in New Zealand that sells horse semen shots.
- There's a TV show on the internet called porn.
- Don't pat yourself on the dick.
- Matt I will slap you with my penis.
- Girls? Think they are stupid?
- Alex - They are.
- Goes on an anal forum. The widest thing I fit was a whole lemon.
- Buttfapping takes a really long time.
- (Alex) Your head looks like a pineapple.
- Shut the fuck up Alex.
- Alex - Don't shush me that's for Mitch.
- Are we listening to a couples problem podcast?
- I used to bleach my asshole
- Mela you date angry midgets.
- Tony is large and strong. I am short and squishy.
- Kumquat looks like Matt's dick
- Description of Matt Dick 44:00
- Looks like someone did a color swap on the penis.
- You hold your balls where it looks like a dildo.
- He's gripping this hideous thing with his lobster hand.
- Mela - Does he have a volcano nipple?
- Your boy nipples are very small.
- Out of 10 I give you a 6.
- Honey Mead.
- Mela - You mean just mead because mead is made from honey.
- Smart ass.
- Alex - Get use to that.
- I recently received a handjorb and do you laugh uncontrollably after busting a nut?
- How do you like your eggs? Fried or fertilized?
- I had to jerk of to Telemundo.
- He died dangerously as he lived.
- People aren't sexless like Mela.
- I used to do Habbo Raids and that's where I met my 2nd girlfriend.
- I use porns as an ends to the means.
- 6 years old, that's enough to like..
- I had no imagination until I learned to masturbate.
- I'm going to add Mela to the bucket list.
- Alex - I'll give you some pictures.
- Mela - No. That's private.
- In some circles I'm known as the minion maker.
- Alex - Are you talking about my penis?
- I told you were not going to talk about our sex life on the podcast.
- Matt - I was only going to talk about your sex life.
- Kate - Do you have stories of bite marks and scars?
- Alex - everywhere.
- Like when I made you a sandwich and you played videogames.
- Alex - I'm going to play more videogames and you make sandwiches.
- If you have enough time to jerk off you have enough time for Dr. Who.
- I don't see how it is illegal to sell penis that vibrators to children.
- When I was a kid we played on the street. Not like hookers.
- Bye rapist I miss you already.
- Shut up I'm pretty.
- I'm less or a murderer than you.
- Alex - But who would edit the podcast?