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Length: 2:14:10

Hosts: Alex Kate Matt

Guest: Mela Firefly


Closing Song:

Content Covered:

Other Shit and some Facts:

  • Alex mentions the cooking with sperm again
  • 1st gf Matt had quiefed on him. and then she blamed Matt
  • Matt mentions Atari penis joystick again
  • Fuck em 3x Dax Shepard
  • Mela saw vaccuum sealed porn. Scared her.
  • Kate revealed she hada vibrator in a previous episode she was in. Would give a prize to person that would answer but no one cared to go back and listen to previous episodes.

Funny Stories and Quotes:


  • After I done it I took my condom out with my semen, blew it up like a balloon and popped it. It was everywhere. The Hindenload. The Hindensperm
  • 10 minutes in and this is the best podcast ever.
  • We sort of have a girl.
    • Kate - Hey.
  • Kate you should be fucking 11 year olds.
  • 1:43:20 "SCRATCH MY BACK ALEX"
  • Viewed life as a Truman show.
    • Mela - I don't get paid enough to be your girlfriend.
  • Dan Amrich he looks like a fucking fish.
  • (Batman5273) Dresses up like Fred Durst
  • I'm going to kill you.
    • ​Mela - It's an act he's not that mean in real life.
  • ​I don't beat women. I'll kill you.
  • 18, 17 Get the fuck out.
  • I showed her (Mela) Sex on horse back, terrodyctl porn.
  • If you listen closely you can hear Mela talking about Viking Penis.
  • Coming in 2nd segment Matt's penis.
    • ​Mela - Yay!
  • For girls like Mela here. I'm in front of the internet not people.
    • ​Mela - The internet is a many people.


  • So when are you getting married?
    • Matt - How pregnant are you Alex?
  • There's a bar in New Zealand that sells horse semen shots.
  • There's a TV show on the internet called porn.
  • Don't pat yourself on the dick.
  • Matt I will slap you with my penis.
  • Girls? Think they are stupid?
    • Alex - They are.
  • Goes on an anal forum. The widest thing I fit was a whole lemon.
  • Buttfapping takes a really long time.
  • (Alex) Your head looks like a pineapple.
  • Shut the fuck up Alex.
    • Alex - Don't shush me that's for Mitch.
  • Are we listening to a couples problem podcast?
  • I used to bleach my asshole
  • Mela you date angry midgets.
  • Tony is large and strong. I am short and squishy.
  • Kumquat looks like Matt's dick
    • Description of Matt Dick 44:00
    1. Looks like someone did a color swap on the penis.
    2. You hold your balls where it looks like a dildo.
    3. He's gripping this hideous thing with his lobster hand.
      • Mela - Does he have a volcano nipple?
    4. Your boy nipples are very small.
    5. Out of 10 I give you a 6.


  • Honey Mead.
    • Mela - You mean just mead because mead is made from honey.
  • Smart ass.
    • Alex - Get use to that.
  • I recently received a handjorb and do you laugh uncontrollably after busting a nut?
  • How do you like your eggs? Fried or fertilized?
  • I had to jerk of to Telemundo.
  • He died dangerously as he lived.
  • People aren't sexless like Mela.
  • I used to do Habbo Raids and that's where I met my 2nd girlfriend.
  • I use porns as an ends to the means.
  • 6 years old, that's enough to like..
  • I had no imagination until I learned to masturbate.
  • I'm going to add Mela to the bucket list.
    • Alex - I'll give you some pictures.
    • Mela - No. That's private.


  • In some circles I'm known as the minion maker.
    • ​Alex - Are you talking about my penis?
  • ​I told you were not going to talk about our sex life on the podcast.
    • ​Matt - I was only going to talk about your sex life.
    • Kate - Do you have stories of bite marks and scars?
    • Alex - everywhere.
  • ​Like when I made you a sandwich and you played videogames.
    • ​Alex - I'm going to play more videogames and you make sandwiches.
  • ​If you have enough time to jerk off you have enough time for Dr. Who.
  • I don't see how it is illegal to sell penis that vibrators to children.
  • When I was a kid we played on the street. Not like hookers.
  • Bye rapist I miss you already.
  • Shut up I'm pretty.
  • I'm less or a murderer than you.
    • ​Alex - But who would edit the podcast?

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